Academia Holds Brain Hostage

My brain is awash with long and tiresome phrases such as 'cultural discontinuities', 'symptomatology across ethnic groups' and 'systematic endeavour'.

'Creative Emma' is slowly being smothered to death underneath a pile of photocopied journal articles heavy with black text and weighty concepts.

'Academic Emma' sits at her desk, staring blankly at the laptop screen in front of her. Every now and then the oppressive silence is smashed when she erratically bats out another regurgitated phrase.

All the while 'Creative Emma's life flashes before her eyes.. From the time she won 3rd prize for her cardboard construction at Pet Day; through to the headband and brooch she crafted from a silk neck tie last weekend.

'Nothing can save me now' she thinks, as she chokes on yet another 'APA referencing style' citation.

Goodbye Winter

I bought this get up in Toronto, November of last year. At the time I was romanticising about wearing a mountain of ice blue fluff in the depths of an English winter. But it never really got cold enough here in London for me to dig out my matching scarf, hat and mitten set.

So now I find myself pulling them out of my top drawer and stashing them away in a dusty cupboard, along with thermal underwear and possum fur socks, in the hope that I might wear them next winter.

#10 - Save on carbon farts...

Feel uber-urban as you step onto the Eurostar at the brand spanking new St Pancras Station, London. Until you find yourself surrounded by 75 year old couples all called Mavis and Bert as they prepare for their annual bus trip around Europe.

But in just over two hours, leave all the Mavis and Berts behind as Paris welcomes you with three kisses. Quickly finding yourself installed in a sidewalk cafe; for days of endless sunshine, cheap wine and a whole lot of laughs. In particular, laugh at the excellent sociological displays in the Louvre as riots just about break out in front of Venus.

Soon realise you need to leave the museum when you begin to fantasise about impaling all the annoying tourists on ancient Roman statues.

All Those In Favour Say.....

Number 9 on the list of things to do in London before you die of chronic lung disease is......Vote.

On Thursday I exercised my democratic right as a citizen of London and voted in the mayoral election.

Unfortunately 100,000 more people liked bumbling, funny-haired 'Tory Boris', than 'Red Ken', so overnight London swung to the right.

There was definitely an element of 'the lesser of two evils' in choosing who to vote for. But I enjoyed the experience all the same.

Thanks London for letting me have my say.